When I was little, I had an unsound focus on food. I was often worried, and while I was eating no one could demand anything of me. It was a refuge, and I was greedy. I loved eating, the many flavours and the feeling of contentment and safety as my belly grew full. That my mother cooked excellent food and that both my parents had starved when they were young, didn't help. Our fridge and freezer were always filled to the brim and my mother apologetic when I took friends home: I'm sorry we haven't got anything at home, but maybe I can offer you something...
Yes, she could.
Constantly fed, I had inherited my parents worry over a possible shortage of food. In my case it was of course completely unjustified.
When I was in my early 20's I got gallstones (probably not because of food, more likely because of worry), and my gallbladder was removed. Without it you can no longer tolerate alcohol, fat, oil, sugar and salt in the same way as you normally can, and you easily get nauseous. This was an excellent moment to change my eating habits.
Which I didn't.
In fact I still struggle with balancing nausea with greed. I wish I could break the perceived link between food and temporary relief, and make eating be "just another thing". It's supposed to be fun, nutritious and filled with ease. Nothing more, nothing less. When you're full you stop, and when you don't eat you don't think about the next meal.
{ Pub food. }
I chose this photo, taken at the UEFA Euro 2012, because every New Year's Eve when I was little we'd go to Villa Godthem and eat planked steak. It's one of my best childhood memories.
These days however I'm a vegetarian, and on the hunt for a good veggie planked steak.
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