{ Face the long hard stare of the Iitala Taika bird. }
I read Gala Darling's post Don't Just Survive, THRIVE! How To Become The Best Possible Version Of Yourself!. In this post, she writes about the work of professor of psychology Abraham Maslow and self-actualization.
Two of the things that Gala touches on, are things I've been mulling over lately and thinking about writing about here. So let's!
Gala writes:
And on Maslow:"...while it may be exciting to have a crazy, hectic & unpredictable life, in order to live up to our potential, we need to be healthy, to have a stable home, to have happy fulfilling relationships, to be self-confident & to have some kind of work."
This is what I've been thinking about:"We always have a choice between growth & safety. Self-actualization is the process of making every decision into a choice for growth. When we choose safety, it is often because of fear, & it causes us to regress. Choosing growth, however, allows us to experience new things, opens us up to challenges & risk the unknown. At every opportunity, choose fearlessness (& growth)."
In my life, I've been bad at trusting my instinct, though I think it's been (potentially) good. I remember the first time I chose not to, because each time that I haven't, I've been acutely aware of choosing not to. Which hasn't stopped me.
I was 16 and on the train home. I chatted up a cute boy, and remember thinking: Whatever you do, don't get involved with him. This guy could be a really good friend, but that's it!
I was very tired at the time, living in a bad situation, and did everything I could to escape it. This guy came to be my first boyfriend, and although he meant a lot to me then, it was a terrible idea, which I knew. When it ended, I wouldn't let go. It was the beginning of a new, bad pattern. Since then, I've never been good at letting go, or leaving when I know it's time.
Many years later I had the chance to be part of the beginning of a new studio for animation, titles and commercials. I was very excited about this, and thought: This is the big time! I had longed to be part of a group supporting each other and making great things happen.
This studio turned out to be a bad thing for me. It didn't make me stronger, instead it made me doubt myself, something I'm still struggling with. What I should have done is go home and figure things out.
In each of these instances, I decided to settle for what I've got, thinking that something is better than nothing. Which is what kills me, that to me, I am apparently nothing, because I didn't want to go home to myself, just myself. I'd rather find my chances in something that I knew was bad for me.
This is where the fear and stable circumstances that Gala writes about comes in.
These days when I'm in a good place, and have someone dear to discuss things with and make choices with, I can feel my confidence and creativity slowly reemerging. I don't think we can choose our every circumstance, but we can make things easier on ourselves.
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